Exploring Beijing

We slept in this morning and barely made the breakfast time!  I guess we’ve recovered from jetlag, though the 11:00pm arrival last night at the hotel surely contributed to the sleep in.  After breakfast we had to get our papers in order for the citizenship application for Li Lin.  Imagine a hotel room with our 3 guides, a photographer and a souvenir salesperson, all helping 18 sets of parents, plus kids, plus siblings and some other family members take a visa photo, organize about 17 sheets of paperwork and place orders for a keepsake.  Mass chaos!  We cycled through in about 2 hours but it must have felt like ages to the guides!

Once that was done the same conglomeration of people met for a group photo before most boarded the bus and headed out to visit the Summer Palace

Wow, not a bad cottage, what with your own private lake, many ornate buildings, your own hillside etc...  Gorgeous scenery, gorgeous day and great lesson in history.  

  We learned a fair bit about the Summer Palace, the dreaded ‘Dragon Lady’ and the marble boat on our way there.  We also experienced for the first time in our trip, the sheer number of people in a specific area in China.  It was interesting navigating the narrow walkways through the crowds.

There was a lot of walking and large crowds as it was Saturday.  We were wondering how Li Lin would do in this new environment.  Neither likelihood was all that appealing: Li Lin loving the open space to run and running around hither skitter and yon, or her being overwhelmed by the crowds and wanting to stay in Sara’s arms all day and wondering if Sara’s back would hold up.  The Lord provided option 3 which was the best of all.  Some new friends from Orillia, Grant and Tracy (see http://hofamilyadoptionjourney.blogspot.com are on their second adoption trip and are adding a little boy to their family to make it 4 kids, just like ours.

Sara talking to Grant and Tracey

They had a stroller and their 3 year old son was not interested in using it.  We asked if we could try Li Lin in the stroller to see if she would like it and ended up high-jacking the stroller for the day.  It worked like a charm and Li Lin loved it.  Much thanks!  As soon as we got home (after we dropped off some laundry to be done – we are trying to do our own in the tub but in the humidity it takes days for the clothes to dry), Logan and I ran out to a market nearby and bought a stroller.  We used it going out for supper and Li Lin loves it as well.

Li Lin in the high-jacked stroller!

 The plan tomorrow is a Jade Factory, the Great Wall of China (can’t wait) and the Olympics sites: Birds Nest and Water Cube.  To all the Moms out there, and especially to my own mother, Happy Mother’s Day on Sunday.  It will be interesting to spend the day with several first time Moms here in China who have been moms for less than a week!  To my dear wife Sara, Happy Mother's Day four times over this year!

Li Lin is still not very fond of her baba, and I have battle wounds to prove it.  However, there are some positive signs.  She is an incredible tease and very good at sharing.  Whenever she opens a snack or treat of any kind, all of the kids get some.  One candy for each of the kids, then one for Li Lin.  Mama usually gets one too.  Baba on the other hand rarely got one.  Now, she will often share with baba... but not directly.  Usually she will come close, place it on the table or chair in front of me, give me a wide grin and then take off running!  Occasionally, she will hold out the chip or candy in her hand behind her back and back her way towards me until she feels me take it and then bail off in the opposite direction!  Tonight, I got 3... yes, count it 3 oreos from her... without her being asked to share with Baba.  I think I actually got more than her xiao ge ge (which is fine, cause Hudson does not like oreos) and da ge ge, as well as jierauna (as she is now calling her jie jie Rykauna).  One thing that is very nice is that ALL money that she finds lying around, from coins to 100 yuan bills, she gives to baba.  I guess she figures I'm the bank.  She's making deposits of a few 100 yuan, planning on making withdrawals in the near future to go on shopping trips.  Let's hope for her sake that the interest pays well.

On the Road Again ~ Steph

The last 24 to 30 hours since the last blog post has gone so much better.  Li Lin settled after a bath last night, had a very good sleep and woke up in a good mood.  She asked Sara for another bath before we headed downstairs for breakfast.  After breakfast, as we were headed upstairs, Evie and her dad (the other adopting family) were in the lobby playing games.  Since Hudson has hit it off so well with her, he and Logan asked if they could stay and play while we went upstairs to pack.  Li Lin was upset that her ge ge were not going to be with her and started a bit of a fit, asking particularly for da ge ge (big older brother) Logan.  Rykauna went down to get Logan and when he came into the room, Li Lin settled, even though she was not directly playing with him.

Hudson and his buddy Evie at the airport in Wuhan

For the rest of the morning and early afternoon, Li Lin played around in the room, by herself or with the other kids as Sara and I tried to pick up after the 5 day hurricane.  That hotel room will not be the same after us! 

We had to return to the Civic Affairs Office (the location of Gotcha Day and the formal adoption).  Seeing as Li Lin’s response to the place was not positive either time, Sara was able to stay downstairs as we picked up the official copies of the Adoption Certificate and Li Lin’s Chinese passport.  Then it was about 1 hour’s drive to the airport in Wuhan.

After getting our boarding passes, checking our luggage and going through security, we were reading to board our flight to Beijing and say goodbye to Wuhan.  It was an epic moment for Li Lin, though she was completely oblivious to it.  In the last few days, she has left behind her foster family, her hometown, her county, and now her province.  Within the next week, she will be leaving her country of birth, China behind.  Big changes for a little girl!

Last parting view of Wuhan on the way to the airport

  Li Lin started acting up a bit during the one hour delay as we sat in the plane at the gate.  We went through all of the snacks, toys, books and tricks before we were even up in the air.  We can’t really blame Li Lin for getting fussy; the air in the plane was hot, humid and stale.  The air conditioning doesn’t work well until the plane is moving, and so we sat in air that was likely in the high 30s and about 80 to 90% humidity!  During takeoff, Li Lin clung to mama and was an absolute wonder the rest of the way.  We arrived in Beijing at about 9:40pm.  We joined several other families waiting for us and we boarded the coach, picked up several other families at two other terminals and all showed up at the Presidential Plaza Hotel, along with all of our luggage.  We got into the room and waited, and waited, for our luggage to appear so we could change and get to bed.  We gave up.  After a bath, Li Lin crawled into bed wrapped in a terry cloth housecoat provided by the hotel.  The other kids all fell asleep with their clothes on.  I just answered the door to our luggage getting delivered a few minutes ago at 12:30am!  Hint for other s travelling... pack pyjamas in your carry on for the flight from the provincial capital to Beijing so you can get to bed earlier!  (Though since our travel group is 18 families, I’m sure it’s usually faster and smoother.)

Li Lin catching a ride at the Beijing airport on the way to the bus

One thing we’ve notice about Li Lin is that she is becoming more and more bonded to the kids –which is a good thing, and a bad thing.  She has been wanting them over baba for a while, but today was even wanting her siblings over mama.  We have appreciated having the kids around and helping Li Lin settle.  She definitely has an understanding of the nuclear family.  Whenever she gets snacks of any sort, she is quick to hand some to each of her siblings.  She asks where her siblings are if they leave without her.  However, one of the problems is her dependence on them when she is upset or wanting something.  She needs to realize that her mama and baba will provide for her and fulfil her needs.  This is something we will have to be particularly aware of in the next little while.  The challenge is – she gets upset if we insist on doing something for her that she wants a sibling to do for her.  So it’s a balance between meeting her needs and making her happy, versus building the attachment to the right caregivers.  We hope we can strike the right balance.

Our gorgeous girl does NOT like getting her picture taken.  Having a hard time getting good shots!

 Tomorrow is Canadian Visa picture day for Li Lin, more paperwork (yeah!  Though I think this is the final piece), a group picture (with a WIDE angle lens - we will be the 6 little dots on the far left) and then the afternoon at the Summer Palace, I believe.  Better get some sleep.

I Guess Roller Coasters have Ups and Downs! ~ Steph

What a crazy 24 hours!  Last blog post had Li Lin sleeping soundly.  The day had gone relatively well.  Around 2 am last night, Li Lin was tossing and turning and we thought she had to go to the bathroom.  We brought her, she woke up... and would not settle!  Loud cries, deep sobs and anger.  The three other kids all woke up at the start but settled back into bed and amazingly slept for the rest of the 2.5 hour episode!  Li Lin did NOT want me and only wanted Sara to hold her, while continually crying out for her foster grandma and pointing to the door, asking to go out.  Eventually, Sara was utterly exhausted so she lay in bed and I sort of held Li Lin sitting beside her.  She forced her way off the bed and wet herself on the carpet!  We got her changed in the bathroom, and amazingly she let me hold her while we changed her pyjamas, and let me continue to hold her as Sara went to lie down.  She wouldn't cuddle in, sort of leaning over to one side like a listing ship.  After about 15 minutes of quietly sitting in my arms, she pointed away from the door to the bed and asked for mama!  I quickly brought her to Sara.  She lay down and promptly fell asleep and remained so until 8:00 this am.

Breakfast was ok.  She once again ate more than she has been, which is good.  After breakfast we went for a swim.  After the swim the plan was to go to the attached playroom, which she has really enjoyed in the past.  However, Li Lin found some hand lotion and really liked it.  When daddy took it away after she'd gone back for the 6th time or so, she started crying, to the point of having to be brought upstairs to the room.

The next plan was to walk to the Carrefour to buy a few things.  We decided to attempt it as a family and got to the end of the hotel's driveway before figuring it would not work, as Li Lin was all worked up.  Sara, Li Lin and Hudson returned to the room while Rykauna, Logan and I continued on to buy the few items on our list.  Li Lin was once again calling for her foster caregivers, so Sara brought out the album that had been given to us by the orphanage workers.  When Li Lin saw the pictures of her foster grandma, she placed her hand on the picture and was wracked by deep sobs.

In the afternoon, we had to get some paperwork picked up but left early with the other family and our guide to visit East Lake once again.  I took a few really cute pictures but they were on Rykauna's camera because we forgot ours, and the memory card for Rykauna's can't be read by this laptop... so they'll have to wait.  East Lake was once again beautiful, but this time it was dreadfully hot!  The paperwork time at the notary office was dreadfully long.  Li Lin did really well for more than an hour but eventually started asking to go outside.  This is becoming a pattern - she really likes the outdoors.  She settled fairly quickly once she was back on the bus.

After we got back to our hotel room, the kids all played really well.  We decided to run down for a quick supper while moods were high.  A brief disagreement with Li Lin about underpants led to another breakdown.  In this one, she got quite upset at baba (that's me), and when we eventually left the hotel room to try and head down, she continually waved me away saying 'No daddy' in Mandarin.  This led to a change of plans and I went down to buy food and we ate the food in the hotel room.  By this time, Li Lin was happier and Sara gave her a bath.  She was great in the bath, came out with a happy smile and played freely with the kids for the evening.

As the kids crawled into bed and some lights were being turned off, Li Lin started whimpering and calling out for her caregivers.  We had previously made a larger hole in one of the sippy cups so Li Lin could drink better.  We got some milk into the cup and Sara rocked her and gave her the cup and she settled in pretty quickly and drifted off to sleep.

We have come to recognize a few different types of cries from Li Lin.  First is the deep gut wrenching cries of grief.  These were very present the first few day, and once again this afternoon with the picture book.  Another is the sad, whimpering cry of sorrow.  This is what we witness whenever Li Lin is tired.  It seems linked with the loss of whoever it was that put her down for her naps and sleeps.  Finally, is the angry wail of a child who is not getting their way!  Li Lin is a bright cookie and likes things done her way and lets us know when things are not to her liking.  When this occurs, she is likely to remain in such a foul mood for quite a while.  Sometimes, she is just a 3 year old being stubborn like a 3-year old does.

On a positive note, Li Lin is already picking up some English.  She knows the meaning of NO, and LOOK.  She has used the phrase "Don't want that" in context.  This morning as she was digging in to a pack of lifesavers (and sharing, she's really good at that) she echoed Sara from previous occasions and clearly said "One at a time".  We figure she should be fluent in English by the end of the summer!

Tomorrow we do one last quick visit at the Civils Affair Office to pick up Li Lin's passport and the official adoption document, and then around 6:00pm we fly for Beijing where the next and final stage of our China adventure will take place.

More Chinese hospitality and a roller-coaster of emotions! ~ Steph

We were once again the recipients of wonderful Chinese hospitality, this time at the hands of long-time friends of James and Elaine Hu.

As Sara mentioned in the last post, we spent the morning visiting the Hubei Museum.

I felt bad for our tour guide as she was trying to give us some information on some of the very interesting artifacts but between the 12 of us (including the 2 little new additions), there were often only 2 or 3 listening as others were busy chasing down or dealing with the youngest ones!  The most of the time was spent in the section containing artifacts from the tomb of The Marquis Yi.

This coffin weighed in over 7 500kg!

One of the most fascinating finds is the oldest know set of chime bells

Our free time at the museum to visit the rest of the exhibits turned into a 'lets follow Li Lin' time trying to keep the little monkey out of trouble!

After an early afternoon nap, we were picked up around 2:30 from our hotel and headed out to Han street.  This is a new modern pedestrian shopping street that is quite upscale.  There is major development going on in this area at this time, including hotels, condos, office buildings and the shopping area.

There has also been the construction of a river to join two lakes here in Wuhan.  After a bit of wandering around in the shops, we took a boat ride heading towards the East Lake, which is the largest lake in Wuhan.

Unfortunately, Li Lin started crying and so we ended up turning the boat a round just before we got in East Lake.  When we got back on shore, Li Lin perked up a bit so we drove to East Lake and visited along the shores for a little bit.

 

 

Then our hosts wanted to take us our for dinner.  We were unsure if we should go since Li Lin had been quite upset but we decided to join them and we were glad we did!  Once again the food was delicious, and once again we had plenty and to spare.  Li Lin was happy and ate more food at that meal than we have seen her eat since she joined our family!

Li Lin is going through a complete roller coaster of emotions.  At times she is joyfully playing with the other kids laughing and giggling and even teasing them.  This evening at the restaurant, Sara left with her to go outside early because she was getting antsy.  When she got downstairs and noticed is was only her and Sara, she wanted back in immediately to go get her siblings! Sometimes its hard to remember that she has only been part of our family for 3 days now.  At other times, it is not so hard to remember.  At any time, Li Lin can become sad and weepy.  It tends to happen when she is tired.  Then you can see the heartbreak of our dear Li Lin.  The good news is that the outbursts are becoming less severe and less frequent.

What a little monkey ~ Sara

Today we took a tour of the Hubei Museum with the guide and the other adoptive family from our agency.  Li Lin was full of energy running everywhere, climbing whatever she could, laughing as we tried to keep up with her, and just generally acting like a normal three year old. 

That is until she became tired... as soon as she is tired she starts whining for her "nai nai" (foster grandmother).  Poor little soul.  We got back into the bus and she settled in my arms and nearly fell asleep.  Too bad the ride wasn't five minutes longer!  When we got back to the hotel room she was still crying for grandma.  Steph put her in the carrier and walked the hallway for five minutes and she quickly fell asleep. 

She is still sleeping on Steph and he has actually fallen asleep too!  The carrier is pretty comfy even for a 25lb little girl.  The other kids are being amazing with her.  They love to play with her and she clearly enjoys them too.  So far we have seen no evidence of jealousy from our youngest, Hudson.  We are really trying to make sure he doesn't feel in anyway displaced.  At this point he seems very content to be her 'xiao gege' (little big brother).  On a few occasions I've seen him walk along side her and gently pat her back.  We are very thankful that he seems to be happy with not being the youngest anymore.

Must close off now and try to get in a game with the three oldest kids while Li Lin sleeps.

For this child I prayed ~ Steph

I recall being in the hospital the day each of my children were born.  For each of them, at some point in the day, while Sara was sleeping, I took them for a little walk in the hallways.  I held them in my arms, gazed into their little faces, listened to the sound of their breathing as they slept in my arms, and I prayed.  I thanked God for this little gift that he had granted us with.  I prayed for wisdom in raising them. I prayed for their salvation while they were young.  I prayed that I would be a worthy dad, that I would be a good example.  I prayed that they would be proud of me.  I prayed that they would grow up to be people of integrity and compassion.  I prayed that they would know not only that I love them, but that they were loved of their heavenly Father.

This evening and night, I spent a couple of hours walking around the halls of the hotel with her in our Boba carrier (great thing to bring!  Allows for close contact but preserves the arms, if not the back completely!  We both have sore arms and backs from lots of cuddling and carrying around when she is upset.  Out of practice for carrying a little child and we don’t get to start at 10 or 12 pounds but get thrown in directly and 25 or so!) 

As I wandered the halls, the same prayers rose from my heart.  I gazed at Li Lin and thanked God for this precious gift.  I prayed for wisdom in raising her.  I prayed that she will feel our love and that she will grow to accept us as her forever family.  I prayed that she will come to know the love of God that is beyond understanding.  I prayed for her salvation early in life.  I prayed that I will be a good example for her, that I will be able to teach her right from wrong, good from bad.  I prayed that she will grow up to be a young woman of integrity and compassion.  I prayed that her heart will heal.  I prayed that she will feel safe with us.  I prayed for her a special blessing of care and compassion and love.  I prayed that she will never feel alone and never feel insecure.

For this child, I prayed.

Thankful for small victories~ Sara

We are thankful for this little gymnasium in the hotel that we were able to bring her to.  She was very happy here playing, laughing and running.

After a time of playing in the gym we decided we wanted to try the pool.  She needed a bath and did not want be changed out of her clothes.  Hence the same outfit in all the pictures the last two days.  She wanted to stay in her comfort zone so we let her.  She wasn't overly thrilled about putting her bathing suit on but went with it.  We weren't sure how she would do in the pool and were pleasantly surprised that she enjoyed it. She played around with some bath toys we had brought along and even kicked her feet a bit!  After the pool she even let me give her a shower. I casually put on different clean clothes after the shower and she accepted them too!  She kept feeling her new  jeans, putting her hands in her pockets and even found a little sticker on them that she promptly put on her forehead.  When we got out of the elevator she quickly walked directly down the halls and stopped at our room.  Li Lin doesn't miss much.

Presently she has been eating some Pringles and giving us all some.  She is an adorable little one who loves being held when she's sad, and sleeps reaching out her arm to touch one of us!  She loves laughing at the kids' antics. The kids are having fun being silly and taking her mind off her foster Grandma. Please continue to pray for this sweet little daughter of ours who is going through such a big change.  She is such a trooper. Unfortunately we have to go back to the Civil Office Friday afternoon... hope this doesn't dig up more bad memories.  We are going to see if one of us can stay outside in the park next to the office and take turns running up to sign paperwork.