To a child, housework is fun! ~ Sara

Cinderella, I mean Li Lin loves to do housework. Yay!  It is really interesting but she seems to enjoy it.  Hudson had the vacuum out as part of his weekly chore to keep the floor by the hamster cage shavings free.  It takes him about twenty seconds to vacuum but he does it without complaint and for that I am thankful.  Putting the big bulky hose away is tough for him so he usually leaves that for me.  I hadn't gotten around to putting it away yet when I saw Li Lin putting the hose back in the suction receptacle and start vacuuming up specks of dirt on the floor of our dining room, stairs, and kitchen.  The hose did not have any attachment on it at the time so it was nice and light and apparently very fun!  Tonight after dinner she also tried to start washing the dinner dishes.  She pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink and started trying to clean the dishes.  Along with loving to wring out wet cloths, and folding tissues neatly we seem to have ourselves a very housework-loving child.

So yeah, things are going very well...LOL!  Actually, she is doing fabulously.  She is an absolute joy to have around the home.  Today I took her to the zoo again.  She has gone there three times already and totally adores the animals.  Her favourite animals are the white lions.  Tonight when I was putting her to bed she asked me if the lions were going to sleep now too.  Unfortunately it took me a minute to understand what she was saying because I was assuming she was speaking to me in Mandarin but she threw in the word "lion".  This sounded to me like she was saying the word for "came" in Chinese.  It's so cute to hear her using a few English words.  It is also priceless to see how thrilled she is when I say her bedtime prayers in Mandarin and pray for her nai nai, ye ye, and di di.  She just loves that we pray for them.  We also pray for  "zhong guo parents" (Chinese parents).  She has no  idea what we are referring to her birth parents yet, but someday she will.

This brings me to another thought.  As I was lying with Li Lin in her bed, waiting for her to fall asleep I thought, wow, somewhere half-way around the world some dear woman carried her for nine months, gave birth to her, and then had to make the heart-wrenching decision to give her up. I wonder how often this dear mama thinks of her daughter, cries herself to sleep thinking about her lost child, and wonders if her dear daughter is loved.  I wish there was some way to reach out to this woman and let her know her child has been adopted and is very much loved by her adoptive family.  Although she is a Canadian now, we will never take away her wonderful Chinese heritage.  Just today I was reminded how much China is so a part of her.  I walked into a Chinese grocery store with Li Lin and we were immediately inundated with the smells of crates of dried seafood, dehydrated mushrooms, dehydrated tofu, etc. She took a deep breath, sniffed the room and said, "Aaahhh."  It was something akin to what I might do if I walked into a cookie bakery.  I asked her if it smelled like China, and she just smiled and nodded.

These people must be dense! ~ Steph

We often wonder what Li Lin must think about our family.  As she listens to us try and talk to her with our limited half-Mandarin-half-English garble, she must think that she’s fallen into a Chinese speaking family that is full of people that either:

1. Have horrible pronunciation
2. Half the time do not know the meaning of basic words
3. Have an incredibly limited vocabulary
4. All of the above in a healthy dose!

I have mentioned before and will mention again – I think that Sara having learned Mandarin before us adopting Li Lin was a very helpful thing.  I would strongly encourage anyone considering international adoption (particularly those adopting toddlers or older children) to spend some time learning their child’s native language.  It helps the child feel more comfortable more quickly.  It helps to decrease the frustration that the child feels if they are not understood.  It increases the chance that the child will be able to maintain some level of fluency in their first language, which is good on a variety of levels.

Sara’s Mandarin is pretty good.  In fact, I think it is absolutely awesome!  She can communicate at the level of a preschooler with relative ease!  Of course, with a language like Mandarin, there is a large gap between useless (pretty close to where I am) and awesome.  Sara would fall somewhere within those boundaries.  The problem with Mandarin in our family is not Sara’s awesome though somewhat limited vocabulary, it’s the rest of us who are the problem.  I had a few lessons as well.  I learned how to fluently count, give dates and times, order food, ride a taxi, introduce myself and tell people how many kids I have, what their ages are and what their names are.  Li Lin is not particularly interested in any of that information.

Our children were all able to count to ten fluently.  They could say ‘hi’, ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I Love you’.  Shortly before heading out to China Sara taught us all a few more phrases.  Once we got Li Lin, Sara was the main communicator since she had her Mandarin.  The rest of us spent our time telling her ‘wo ai ni bao bao’ [I love you baby], or ‘wo ai ni mei mei’ [I love you little sister].  She must have been thinking we were a bunch of broken records!  Not being able to talk to someone is a big deal to those in our family... there is rarely much free air time!  So, instead of speaking English to Li Lin to help her learn this new language we are all fluent in, we started speaking to Li Lin in a cross of Mandarin, made up words that sound like Mandarin words, and Mandarin words that are completely mispronounced or misused!  The kids and I picked up our Mandarin from listening to Li Lin and Sara talk.

The few words we picked up quickly were ‘bu’ [no], along with ‘bu yao’ [don’t want].  Li Lin was quickly taught to say ‘duibuqi’ [sorry] and we also learned ‘shuo’ [say].  So Li Lin was inundated with ‘wo ai ni’s during her happy times.  When she got upset or angry and hit, she would get a ‘shuo duibuqi’ [say sorry]  I’m sure at some point she must have thought, “These people are so dense.  They look old enough to have more than a dozen word vocabulary!”

Yesterday I called Li Lin to come eat lunch so I asked her to come for ‘cha’ [tea] while doing the eating motion.  She looked at me quizzically but came.  As we were sitting at the table, she was full so I asked her if I could ‘he’ [drink] her eggs!  She looked at me and laughed.  Sara clarified and so I then asked if I could ‘chi’ [eat] her eggs, and she gladly agreed!

If we don't figure something out soon, we'll have a Li Lin who will be able to speak 3 languages... English, Mandarin and Parent.

Monkey See, Monkey Do ~ Steph

Li Lin is an incredible mimic!  She has keen observation skills and quickly shows us what she's picked up from seeing the world around her.

Starting in Wuhan, we had an easy time getting Li Lin to brush her teeth as she saw all the other children do it and immediately wanted to join in.  This has also expanded to other things that she sees and observes.  She saw Sara putting on deodorant one day.  Now, one of her favourite activities is putting on underarm deodorant.  We went to the zoo the other day and she insisted on applying the deodorant in the parking lot and then carrying it in her hands as we pushed her around the stroller!  She has also noticed daddy shaving and has tried to imitate this using plastic toys.

Li Lin has obviously been in a hospital before (we know she's had a couple of surgeries).  When we got back from our first doctor's visit she showed us again her keen imitation skills.  She found her play doctor kit and brought out the plastic needle and found a ribbon lying around.  She tied the ribbon around Sara's arm (the tourniquet), gently rubbed her fingers across the bend in Sara's arm (looking for the blood vessel) and proceeded to 'poke' Sara with the needle.  She then looked smiling up into her mother's face and said "Ku, ku, mama" (meaning cry, cry, mommy).  She had just been poked a few times at the doctor's in an unsuccessful attempt at drawing blood.

 

When looking at a little mirror like Li Lin, it makes you more aware of the things you say and do, because it could quickly be repeated or imitated in any manner of places.  I had never noticed before, but at least one member of our family must say 'wow' relatively frequently.  Sara and I brought Li Lin to the zoo a few days ago.  As we got close to the animals, we would point them out and ask  Li Lin if she saw them.  Each time she spotted the animal, she would say 'wowie' with a twinkle in her eye!

Just last night, this wanting to imitate others worked to our advantage.  Since we got home, Li Lin has been co-sleeping with us.  She sleeps very well in our bed.  At least one of us does!  She is active during the day and active during the night!  She often ends up sleeping perpendicular to us, with one of us having her head on ours, while the other has her feet up our nose or wrapped around our necks!  Li Lin has been noticing that each of the other kids sleep in their own rooms, and has decided that she will as well.  Last night as we got her ready for bed, she grinned at us and ran to her room and lay on a mattress on the floor.  When we went to lay beside her to help settle her down, she shooed us away and pointed to our bedroom, telling us to go there.  Within a few minutes she was sound asleep in her own room, just like her jie jie and her ge ges.  Sara and I slept more soundly then we have in weeks!  Tonight she's once again in her room.  No complaints here!

Tipping my hat to Mr. Mom ~ Sara

Since returning home from China, we are quickly settling into our routines both old and new.  For the first few days exhaustion combined with constantly chasing after a three year old, that was checking out every nook and cranny of her new surroundings made for me being a pretty inefficient homemaker.  Incompetent might be a better word.  Enter Steph, a.k.a Mr. Mom.

Steph willingly, without my asking or hinting, started emptying the suitcases, laundering the clothes, cooking up food, vacuuming, and tackling the kitchen cleaning duties.  Yes, I know, I am very blessed!  I am even more thankful that he is off for another two weeks!  Having him here during the initial transition days has been amazing.  It would have been tough without him.  He hasn't had it easy either, as many of you know Li Lin initially strongly disliked Steph.  With incredible patience he has wormed his way into her heart and earned her trust.  Just another reason why I really love this guy!  

Rykauna's Snapshot Picture~ Sara

One of the adoption blogs that Rykauna avidly follows has a weekly photography contest.  Here is the picture she is entering by adding the Sunday Snapshot link to this other blog.  It is an interesting read if not downright remarkable.  How this mom has time to run a weekly contest is beyond my figuring out, but thankfully it is not for me to try and wrap my head around.  Clearly she is a much more organized woman than I will ever be!                                                                                                                              

Sunday Snapshot Link (its supposed to be a button but can't figure out how to get it to work)
http://nihaoyall.com/category/sunday-snapshot

Family Hug ~ Steph

Li Lin has progressed tremendously.  She is an absolute sweetheart!  For the most part she is now very happy.  She still occasionally gets upset or whiny but its more in the typical three year old way.  Her day generally starts with a smile and either a 'mama' or a cheery 'ni hao'.  She spends much of the time exploring the world around her with a big smile and twinkling eyes.

This weekend we've had a couple of firsts.  On Saturday, some of the ladies from our church family held a shower for Li Lin.  Sara and Rykauna attended while Li Lin stayed at home with da gege, xiao gege and baba.  First time away from mama.  Sara explained to her that she would be gone for a little while and Li Lin was ok with it.  We went to the library to get some books - Li Lin is starting to show interest in looking at books.  It seems she may not have been exposed to many of them before.  We then stopped by the park on the way home.

This evening, Sara and the three oldest all went to the evening church service we usually attend on Sundays.  Once again Sara told Li Lin that she and the kids were going and that Li Lin would stay home with baba.  A big nod and smile was all Sara got.  Li Lin and I had a great time (mostly me pretending to be sick so Li Lin could fix me up), but she started asking for mama shortly before Sara got home.  I told her mom was coming and stalled her with a variety of tactics (ice cream feed worked the best).  Even an offer to brush her teeth (this is a favourite activity that can sometimes take a while as it often leads to a sink full of water as she washes her hands repeatedly) didn't work as she stated she'd brush with 'mama'.

Eventually, Sara and the kids got home.  Li Lin was precious running to Sara and jumping in her arms and squeezing tightly.  What was really heartwarming was later on, Li Lin calling me to join in the hug with her and Sara, a big smile on her face.  She then called to her three siblings and we had a great big family hug!  Three times (we put an end to it as a couple kids needed a bite to eat before bed) she called each of us by name to come and join in the big hug.  It seems she's starting to know who her nuclear family is.  Great news!

 Rykauna was experimenting with our camera and had a very willing model in Li Lin

Li Lin saw this dress after the shower and wanted to put it on right away.

Bad Chinese makes for sticky situations ~ Sara

Yesterday was Dr. appt day.  Li Lin loved her gifts bearing nurse, Lisa, and was very happy to let the doctor look at her.  After failed attempts to yield blood by our friendly pediatrician we were impressed how well she handled the appointment.  I am thankful the doctor is being very thorough and checking her for anything and everything that could have been missed along the way.  Most importantly, she is getting us a referral to the cleft clinic at Sick Kids where Li Lin's needs relative to the cleft can be assessed and treated.  Li Lin has a fistula (hole) from just behind her teeth to her nose on the left side of her mouth.  We are guessing the medical team at Sick Kids will want to repair that relatively soon to aid in her speech.   The fall would be our preference but we will see what happens. 

Today Li Lin asked me about her "ye ye" and "nai nai" again (foster grandparents) and said she wanted to know where they were after I inadvertantly mispronouced the Chinese name of the pleasant goat cartoon.  I accidentally asked her if she wanted to watch grandpa and not "ya ya" as she calls it.   I explained as best I could to a three year old that they are in China.  I asked her if she wanted to see pictures of grandma and little foster brother. (Unfortunately we were never given a pic of the foster grandpa) Bracing myself for a sobbing child, I brought out the precious pink album the director had so kindly given us.

She went through the book skipping over pictures of her as an infant, pointed out pictures of her friend, Yang yang,  and stopped at the beautiful picture taken of her and her foster grandma and little foster brother.  She beamed ear to ear and said, "nai nai, didi (little brother)".  There were no tears from her, she was just happy to see their faces again.  She asked again where they were, I told her again, and she closed up the book, put it back into it's case, and  handed it to me.  I asked me if she wanted me to put this in her room.  She smiled happily, then quickly ran over to the DVD player to try to turn on the pleasant goat cartoon.  As I climbed the stairs to her room to put the book away for safe keeping, it was my turn to shed a few tears for a child who has lost so much but is so accepting of these losses.  Please keep praying.