Another 'Night Before'

It is very hard to describe the feeling one gets the night before their child goes in for open heart surgery.   There are conflicting emotions... hope, fear, joy, terror, relief... that are blended together.

For Jadon's first open heart surgery in February 2015, we felt mostly relief.  Jadon had been sickly since his adoption in October 2014.  His several months in Canada since that time had included several stays at Sick Kids already.  His oxygen needs were increasing and we were just trying to keep him healthy enough for a two week window so he could go in for surgery.   Yes, we knew there were risks associated with open heart surgery but those were theoretical risks that seemed very unlikely.  We felt relieved he got in for surgery and very hopeful that his heart would be fixed.  Of course 12 hours later when Jadon came out of the OR on ECMO after a surgery with many 'complications', many other emotions surfaced very quickly.

This time round, we are decidedly more cautious.  It figures 364 days in a hospital and 7 surgeries within the one year will change our perspective.   We have seen many outcomes with Jadon that were not the most desired.  He has been through so much! Yet he is an incredibly positive and happy little boy.  We are aprehensive about the surgery,  yet knowing he needs this valve replaced.  We are hopeful that in the end there will be some improvement in his heart function and/or quality of life.   We are aware of the potentially negative outcomes, but are relieved he has fought off his most recent cold and stayed healthy the last few weeks so he can go in for surgery.

Ultimately, we know and believe that God is in control even though we often don't understand his plan.  We have been so touched by the many prayers of so many throughout the last few years,  but more recently these last few days since we got our surgery date.  A few of Rykauna's friends have set up a prayer chain and so mamy people (quite a few we don't even know personally) have signed up so Jadon will be prayed for constantly throughout his surgery and his post-op recovery.  We are so thankful.

And so, another Night Before.  Mixed emotions  but ultimately... a sliver of peace knowing we and Jadon are in our Father's hands.